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I have three New Year's resolutions:

1. Encourage more making & doing and less computer play.
2. Have more free time with friends.
3. Homework must be fun.

Obviously,I’m a parent. At some point, resolutions aimed at improving my son Eli’s lifewill be his to decide, but as he is eight going on nine, his list is still my list.

I worry that my resolutions for Eli are defensive. I don’t seem to think in terms of helping him build upon hisnatural excitement and exuberance. Instead, I aim to protecthim from a world that seems too pressured, too packed and too supervised.

If Homer’s painting were updated it would have to be retitled Boys Playing in Pasture (with Counselor), because eight and nine year old boys are never unsupervised and aren’t allowed to loaf much.

Of the changes in the lives of children between my generation, this one seems to me the least remarked and possibly the most worrisome. Thereis debate, however ineffectual, over the wisdom of elementary school standardized testing, nightly homework assignments for kids, even in1st grade, and medication of arguably ordinary childish behavior, butthere seemslittle concern – even among parents who are critical in other areas –that our kids don’t get to play with each other alone.

Parents, teachers,after-school caretakers, karate instructors, coaches and summercounselorsstructure the relationships and settle disputes that kids more oftenused to figure out themselves. Might not the universal principle ofearly intervention to prevent conflict actually encourage kidsto act aggressively? Why not pitch a tantrum if you know there isalways an adult around to keep the lid on? When, I wonder, do these kids ever get a chance to deal with each other on their own terms?

I have three New Year's resolutions:

1. Encourage more making & doing and less computer play.
2. Have more free time with friends.
3. Homework must be fun.

Obviously,I’m a parent. At some point, resolutions aimed at improving my son Eli’s lifewill be his to decide, but as he is eight going on nine, his list is still my list.

I worry that my resolutions for Eli are defensive. I don’t seem to think in terms of helping him build upon hisnatural excitement and exuberance. Instead, I aim to protecthim from a world that seems too pressured, too packed and too supervised.

If Homer’s painting were updated it would have to be retitled Boys Playing in Pasture (with Counselor), because eight and nine year old boys are never unsupervised and aren’t allowed to loaf much.

Of the changes in the lives of children between my generation, this one seems to me the least remarked and possibly the most worrisome. Thereis debate, however ineffectual, over the wisdom of elementary school standardized testing, nightly homework assignments for kids, even in1st grade, and medication of arguably ordinary childish behavior, butthere seemslittle concern – even among parents who are critical in other areas –that our kids don’t get to play with each other alone.

Parents, teachers,after-school caretakers, karate instructors, coaches and summercounselorsstructure the relationships and settle disputes that kids more oftenused to figure out themselves. Might not the universal principle ofearly intervention to prevent conflict actually encourage kidsto act aggressively? Why not pitch a tantrum if you know there isalways an adult around to keep the lid on? When, I wonder, do these kids ever get a chance to deal with each other on their own terms?